So many thoughts fill my mind today.
Lately I have felt a heaviness with my art, my visions, dreams and assignments the Lord is calling me to. I hear myself say in my head “HOW DO I DO THIS?” As I seek Him. Or to be even more detailed “How can I possibly do this?!” Then I hear from the Spirit, “you just begin.” Of course He would say that “Just Begin”. If I never begin then I won’t know what I can do or what I can’t do. Why am I doubting myself? Where is my faith in myself and my God? I don’t doubt God, I doubt myself. But I am selling myself short based on the past and not the present or even future. I’m selling myself short from even putting faith in myself and not Just beginning. I’m assuming the outcome before the start.. WOW that was a wake up call. Assuming the outcome before the start! This is so contradictory to the Holy scriptures of how we are to believe, receive and proceed!
God trusts me enough to ask me to do it. WOW! I was believing something about a situation that hadn’t even begun yet.
I’ve had inspiration, impression, vision and prophetic confirmation from numerous sources and I was still doubting myself. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it. That all stops today! If I don’t have faith in myself then I’m actually kind of not having faith in God that He can help me accomplish what He has called me to do . I always pray “help me walk worthy of the call you set before me and give me your eyes to see, your ears to hear and a mind to know like you Lord!” Guess what...He sees me and says I’m worthy. He has given me his eyes (vision) He has given me inspiration and ideas (his mind) and the fact that I am saying with question of direction tells me I have his ears too. I have heard. Now it is to “Just begin”. He trusts me! So much so He has given me the desire and the assignment and has confirmed it over and over again. I don’t need fireworks in the sky or one more word to know that this is Him. I didn’t need the other confirmations, I knew it was Him all along but He kept sending me love notes of confirmation and votes of confidence in me. We need not get out of the way so He can work, No, we need to get IN THE WAY and work with Him trusting that as we apply ourselves He will cause all things to align and unfold according to His plan.
Jesus invited the disciples into the miracle process all the time. He was their TEACHER! When he fed the 5000, the disciples were in possession of the bread and fish and He told them to go and do, feed them. He would also send them away after being with Him to do miracles and cast out demons. He would have never created us if He didn’t desire to co-create with us. He may not need us, but He desires so. I’m overwhelmed in His trust for me, His desire to walk with me and to accomplish with me. Then I am reminded in my own natural parenting journey that I would do the same! I would see and believe in my child. I would want to walk with them, engage with them, celebrate with them. I would call out the gold in them and then cause the gold to be refined as I invite them into the process and send them out. They would begin to have greater faith in themselves and even greater love and faith in me for believing in them and for pushing them to be more of the person they were designed to be. It is about the process. It is about believing that you have already received what you have asked for and proceeding in faith and trust. He wants you to believe in yourself because you are in Him and He is in you! The outcome of the process is rewarding, but to me the process is the reward before the outcome.
So let me give you a few reasons He has highlighted to me for my slow response to “Just begin” and maybe it will help you as well.
*Lack of faith in myself. Why? Sometimes the past dictates to us what we are capable of doing in the present to create the future. Today again, I break agreement with that lie and my past!
*Lack of formal training. The assignment He is calling me to do is not of my current skill level (atleast that is what I have told myself) and again today I break agreement with that lie and seek to attain the level of skill I need to accomplish this with and through Him. I must “Just Begin” to even know. You don’t know until you try.
*Fear. In a bad and good way. Fear of falling short when I begin (again it is about process) and the fear of growth. Fear of growth? Yes, when we are faithful in little He begins to make us rulers over much and that is a good thing. Except with greater levels of growth and trust comes greater responsibility and that can be overwhelming to steward. I believe it is us that keeps us right where we are at. I want to grow, that is scary, but I want it! I will say yes to Him and no to fear!
*Trust. It all comes down to trust. I asked for this and He is delivering. So I must just trust! I must “Just Begin”!
Don’t let the past dictate to you what you are capable of doing in the present to create the future.
Written by Dionne White